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Why all the lies? Why the fabricated and/or exaggerated stories to obtain money? Why all the scamming? STOP LYING!!!

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Go4More
Dear CATLUV,

I regret that you have obviously been on the receiving end of some scams or worse. I know that bitterness can bring out very strong idealogy about others around us. Please read more about me and ask yourself would I be willing to walk in his shoes for a month?

Yes, there are those who do indeed exaggerate their condition so that possibly someone will come across their story. Sometimes individuals donate money to that individual who is lying.

But what do we do about those of us are not lying about our situations and as a result of the scammers, the trufylly needy loses out on financial assistance and other means of support?

I used to sell silver and commemorative silver collections. The proceeds went to help individuals that I know locally that needed assistance.

Please understand, we are disabled and need temporary resources at times, but I would wager a bet that many of the disabled are the individuals that give the most. Not necessarily financial, but in support and prayers as well.

God Bless

Jerry
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CraigL
 in response to lbart123...   That's a good idea, especially when we get into the cold weather season here. It is too bad that people have to be afraid to seek help from a stranger, but that is the way the world is. Just the other day, I bought new school clothes for a family I have been helping for a period of time. It took a long time to build up a level of trust with them. I'd like to find another family or two in my community that are in need of help with basic needs before the end of the year holidays. I've never paid much attention to people I see in stores, as to how they dress, or what they put in a shopping cart. The only interaction I've had recently with someone in a store, was a lady that asked me to get something off the top shelf that she couldn't reach. That happens once in a while in the grocery store. As far as going to a women's shelter, you have to apply to be a volunteer and pass a criminal background check. I have no doubt that I would pass a background check, but you can't just walk up to the door in one of those places and offer to help.
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lbart123
 in response to CraigL...   I F YOU WANT TO HELP GO TO A WOMENS SHELTER FOR MOTHERS WITH CHILDREN,OR GO TO THE GROCERY STORE AND SEE SOME OF THE ELDERLY WITH VERY LITTLE FOOD IN THEIR CART AND SAY IM PAYING THIS FOR YOU,LOTS OF WAYS TO DO IT.IN THE WINTER YOU SEE LITTLE KIDS IN THE STORE WITH WORN SHOES OR NO WARM COAT ASK THE PARENT CAN I PLEASE BUY THEM SHOES OR A COAT,YOU MAY BE SURPRIZE.JUST LOOK AROUND YOU AND YOU WILL SEE THE FAMILYS IN NEED.
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Anonymous40784
 in response to Peachy's MOM...   Thank you for such a beautiful post.
I am a firm believer in prayer.
God has been very good to me & have answered many of my prayers.

God bless you.
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Peachy's MOM

 in response to Anonymous40784...   Hi, new here Peach's Mom, with fracture leg) prayer is powerful. ask and be specific you want God to do, then say thy Will be done. If he see fit you will get your needs met, may not be right away, could be 5 years from now, I believe each of us a path we must follow and deal with the road blocks, he is seeing how we handle it.

Life is full of mysteries, I prayed with fire in my belly, to get out of old building/full of crime/told doctor, I am going lose if I don't mover, so, he wrote papers from My Disabilty office and agreed to help me financially with startup money to finde safer enviornment.

I would Pray Dear Lord send the right people in my life to help me go through this or find a solution to problem.

Just ask: ie I asked for small things and forget about it and then week later, surprised there was my answer in my face.

It does work. try if for a experiment, start slow with small thing, like I need help with painting my apartment. put up poster inlaundy room (volunteer) and bingo bet someone will knock on ur door to help.

I could go on, please excuse typo as keyboard sitnking and delayed text.

To all those out, never give up when things are at there worse it 't turning of the corner to great thins.

God Bless, You are in My Prayers

Peachy's MOM , ON, Canada

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Anonymous40784
 in response to CraigL...   Most places have a soup kitchen or shelter. People there always need help.
The Salvation Army is one of the few charities that do provide resources for people.

I understand how you feel. I don't know whats wrong with people these days.

Best wishes
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ZillyMe
 in response to CraigL...   This is my first visit to this site so I don't pretend to know EXACTLY what goes on here, but I do agree in general, that far too many people exaggerate or out right lie about their situations in order to get things for free and it's really sad. I say this as someone who often is on both sides of the spectrum. There are times when I have a little more than I need and so I try to help someone if I can, and at other times I'm that desperate single mom who is trying to figure out how to make it another month without selling organs. That being said, I have never, and will never, understood why people feel the need to create sob stories to get help, and especially when people put conditions on the help they "need". For me, need = rent, groceries, electric, heat, clothing for children, medical assistance. No one NEEDS a TV, no one NEEDS a computer or a fancy cell phone. These are not necessities, they are desires. I want a lot of things, but I need to make it to next month without getting my A/C shut off. My kids want a PowerWheels Cadillac, but they NEED to be fed and warm (or cool in 90+ heat), they need to be healthy and safe. I often help those who don't ask for it over those who are crying poverty because it feels a more sincere situation.
On another note, I can understand why many people would be hesitant to meet a stranger face to face, even if it means a little relief. I have two small children and the idea of putting them in a potentially dangerous situation, even if I'm desperate, will always override my need to get help. The world is an ugly place and there are far too many bad people masquerading as do gooders. Too many horror stories to count about desperate people being hurt or worse because their desperation drove them into dangerous situations. Bad people prey on the weak and the desperate, that's just a fact of this world unfortunately.
Even meeting in a public place holds no real security. What if some psycho decides to follow you home after such an encounter? What if the meeting was some kind of a lure for other intentions? You just never know these days.
I understand wanting to see for yourself that their need is real, but giving is giving, if it's done with the right intentions then that should be enough. I have never believed in putting conditions on generosity, it defeats the purpose. God gives freely to us, even though many of us don't deserve the blessings he gives. He gave us all life without first requiring anything from us, why then should we not give just as freely?
I'm not saying that it is ok that people scam, or cheat, etc, just that if you do choose to help someone, do it without putting conditions on it or at least try to understand the other person. It's possible that they were not trying to be deceitful, just careful in a very dangerous world.
As I said before, I put my children's safety above all else. There have been times I've listed things on craigslist, freecycle, etc, and even though I initiated the transaction at times, I still have a hard time working out a way to meet with someone in a safe way. I NEVER meet with anyone and then go home. I NEVER take my children with me, and I NEVER allow anyone I don't know near my home or children. I don't care if they are offering to pay my rent for a year, I will not risk my children's wellbeing.
I hope you all will consider the other side of debate when those in need are cautious or hesitant to comply with demands put on them in order to get help, just as I hope those who take advantage of people's generosity and kindness will consider the harm they do not just to the giver, but those who would not benefit from the assistance you are receiving.
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positive thoughts
Hi there. I couldn't agree more. Very well said.
Much Love and hugs
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CraigL
I understand where you're coming from. I have been scammed more than once helping someone on the Internet. I have decided years ago, that I would only help someone if we met face to face and I had an opportunity to verify their situation. I live in a large metro area in Minnesota. I know there are families in serious need of food and basic needs, but I can't find them. I have helped out in the past, and I don't give cash or gift cards. If I see hungry children, and an empty refrigerator, I will do something immediately. I only give groceries, basic needs like clothing, personal care products, and birthday or Christmas gifts for children. I either give them those products directly, or take them shopping and let them pick out what they need. I want to make sure that anything I spend is used for the purpose in which it is intended.

I tried this past Christmas by responding to some local requests for help found on sites like craigslist and 2hands. I couldn't believe some of the responses I got. I had people telling me that under no circumstances would we meet, and just send money to their Paypal account. I had one that desperately needed a working TV, but insisted that it had to be a flat screen and provided me a list of what specific models they would or would not accept. Heck, I don't even own a flat screen TV yet! Then I had one response demanding that I gave them a specific dollar amount of their "spending budget" before they would agree to meet me at a grocery store. These are some examples of the kind of crap I get when attempting to respond to a help request on the Internet. There are others, but these are among the most brazen.

How do you find families that truly are in need of help and are appreciative of what you do for them? I'm not rich, but I have more resources than some of my peers. I often feel that I should be doing more in my community, but I don't know how to go about it. I'm not going to give up, but I'm done responding to help requests unless I can meet the people.
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Anonymous40784
 in response to CATLUV...   I will stay on the site. Probably, just not as much as I have in the past.
There are many people here such as yourself who I dearly treasure. Which is the reason why I will stay here.
I figure, I can still help people by praying for them. I believe thats the best help anyway.

Hope you have a great night.
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CATLUV
 in response to Anonymous40784...   I fully understand. I wish it wasn't the case. But I do understand. I hope this doesn't mean you're leaving the site permanently? If so, I will miss you, and I know others will as well. Whatever you choose to do, please stay in contact .. you are a sweet, kind and wonderful person and spirit and I am blessed to know you. Thank you for all of your time, energy, love and compassion. Big hugs, Cat
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Anonymous40784
Great post.
That is the very reason (with the exception of a sending a few cards here & there, prayers,advice) that I am DONE with helping others on the internet.
I know, many people will say keep giving & let the Lord bless you,blah,blah,blah.
However, its my choice & I have made my decision.
There are plenty of people in the community & family to help.

So totally DONE.
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